Deep Bondi Enterprises




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Welcome to the Deep Bondi group website. We like to think that we are inventors, despite never having completed a project. Each of us has at least one Macintosh computer - Most of us have more. We argue alot about Mac OS X (and everything else). We like spicy food - the spicier the better.

They say bachelors should never go to the grocery store on an empty stomach. Boy, are they right. It starts a guy thinking stuff like "Why are there so many doggone kinds of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish?"

"Do they really taste that much different?"

Then, instead of buying healthy food, a guy might buy one of each and conduct an actual taste test to find the answers.

I am that guy.

This is scientific research.

*Scientific data and averages on Goldfish, as tested by a panel of all white males.**
	Spiciness	Saltiness	Flavorness	Cheeseness
Original	0.8	2.8	2.7	1.2
Comments	James: They're great, but you can't eat them against the grain of your tongue. Mike: Are these MRE goldfish or something?
Flavor Blasted Cheddar	2.6	3.0	2.8	4.3
Comments	Dan: Maybe it's because Scout [Dave's dog] just licked my hand, but these taste pretty good compared to most. Muro: All I taste is the plastic. [These goldfish came in a plastic tube.] .[James originally rated cheesyness as 5.8 but the editor decided this was outside the agreed-upon rating scale.]
Pretzel	1.0	2.3	2.0	0.7
Comments	Dan: Like a pretzel; they really don't taste like much. Mark: A pretzel by any other fish... Muro: Hey, they're pretzels. James: Just like a pretzel, only different. Mike: Pretzels blow. [Originally rated cheesyness as -2 (negative 2) but the editor decided this was outside the agreed-upon rating scale.]
Parmesan	0.3	1.0	1.3	1.5
Comments	Muro: Do yours have any flavor? They;re just bread. Dave: What is this bull[dookie].
Spicy Cheddar	2.5	2.7	3.2	2.8
Comments	Dave: What's so F-ing spicy about it? Muro: Fire the guy who came up with these. Dan: Eat more of them... they kinda get spicy. Mike: I gotta go to the bathroom [not really referring to the fish, just himself]
White Cheddar	2.2	2.7	2.2	2.0
Comments	Mark: Surprisingly unremarkable.
American Cheese (Special racing package)	0.7	1.7	1.7	3.0
Comments	Dan: Bland, but they do come in different shapes. Mike: They suck. Pukerific. Muro: Why don't they have Mexican Cheese? James: They fly pretty fast when you throw them. Dave: What's up with the F-ing cars?
Extreme Cheddar & Sour Cream	3.7	4.3	3.3	2.6
Comments	Dave: Hey these are good. I'm surprised they don't taste like [dookie]. Muro: These taste kinda stale. Mark: Yea. [Concurring with Muro]
Cheddar	1.0	2.0	2.3	2.5
Comments	Dan: If they're going to keep making a billion flavors, they should probably not bother with these any more. Muro: Kinda dull after eating Explosive Flavor Pizza
Flavor Blasted Xplosive Pizza	4.3	3.9	4.7	3.5
Comments	Muro: Dude, this is spaghetti on a fish; this is the best. Dave: I think I'm gonna be sick. Dan: Wow, these taste like something. Mike: Oh, man, that's good!
Giant Pizza	2.9	3.3	3.9	3.0
Comments	Mike: Pizza-y. Dan: Yea, they're crunchy, and big. Mark: Kinda lame-odd aftertaste.

Overall Comments:

Mike:

Pretzels blew. American cheese made me spew and explosive pizza was freakin' good. Overall, this was a lot of fun. I hope our hours of eating and drinking tranya [Mountain Dew] here benefits all cheesy fish entrepreneurs of the world. I know it made me need to take a piss.

Dan:

It's a great idea to power a bunch of salty snacks. These fish go pretty well with Marlboro Lights, but I'm not sure how they're gonna interact with my dookie. Only time will tell.
I think the main lesson we can learn from PF is that marketing can make people pay outrageous prices for, what is essentially chee-zits.
How'd this fish end up in my pocket? [ed. note: Dan's dookie was fine.]

Steve:

Xplosive pizza is the greatest! White Cheddar, wow! Original, go figure? Pizza, good flavor.

James:

My Overall Goldfish Experience, an essay by James Cook.
Overall, I felt that the goldfish made a great excuse to have a game party. The highlight of the survey had to be the 'original' soup crackers - great flavor, great texture - I could eat them for hours.

A Goldfish Haiku
a haiku by James Cook.
My only regret
Was that we failed to finish
All twenty-four kinds

There were seven judges overall, and we had originally planned to cleanse our palettes with Viral Tranya [Code Red Mountain Dew] but we got impatient the weekend before and drank all the red stuff. We used Mountain Dew [regular Tranya] instead.

Considering that we tested eleven different kinds of goldfish while also playing Diablo II, it's amazing no one puked. We'd clear a level of evil demons, then slam 3 or 4 flavors of fishies in about the length of time it takes to smoke a cigarette, which a couple of us were doing as well during the taste test. Maybe that's why the scores seem kinda low.

James plans to make a database of all the scores, so people can delve deeper into the trends of goldfish tasteology. You just email him directly if you want it, don't bug me.

*Muro is Mexican-American, I think.